


Forbidden Fruit

by Zip001



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 04:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7300207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zip001/pseuds/Zip001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon is the apple of Sam's eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forbidden Fruit

**Author's Note:**

> The fifth deadly sin is gluttony.
> 
> I have a complex relationship with food. I love to eat and indulge, perhaps too much.
> 
> Food sometimes comfort me - I like to think it is because the person who cooks for me loves me so much!!!

Everyone was whispering, nay actually complaining quite loudly, about how he was still so fat in Castle Black, wondering if he stole any food. It got so bad that he felt like he was being followed, that eyes were following his every move.

He wanted to tell them his metabolism was very slow, but they would complain that he did not exert himself enough during training. But he felt like he did - he just was not as strong nor had the endurance as Jon, his heart brother.

He ate the same portions as the others at the mess hall. But it was true that Jon would feed him more. Jon tasked him with caring for ailing Aemon and platters of rich food were sent to Aemon who wouldn’t eat alone. Jon would also share his private meals with him.

As the whispers grew louder to yelled insults, he ate more as Aemon ate less, too weakened to eat. He could see Aemon measuring him, finding him lacking like the others.

The only person who did not find him lacking was Jon, who slept next to him at night. He did not laugh when Sam told him of his dreams of apples as fruits were scarce at the Wall. And that was the problem. Jon was the mighty and powerful Lord Commander, and he was fat, stupid, weak Sam. They could not be.

He ate because he tried to fill that emptiness inside him, inside his heart, to satisfy his hunger for him. For Sam, each bite was an attempt to find comfort, to drown out the voices in his head telling him how utterly worthless he was, how he was just a fat stupid man, how he did not deserve to be loved, but each bite gave him less and less comfort and actually added to his shame and self-hate.

Until finally he started to not eat even though he wanted more, more than his sad lot in life, a son his father did not want and wanted dead. He did not finish his meals at the mess hall. He did not share Aemon’s meals as they both stared sadly at the cooling food. He did not join Jon for their late night private meals, not looking at Jon’s looks of hurt when he refused to come. Instead, he spent most of his days, when not tending Aemon, with Gilly and the babe, giving her the leftovers from his and Aemon’s meals to strengthen and fortify her and the babe.

Each night the distance between their bodies grew larger as he slimmed down a tiny bit (his metabolism was really slow) and inched further away from the man he loved. Finally, after seven days, when he was almost asleep, he felt that large hand on his chest, seemingly so familiar and yet so strange as Jon never touched Sam but for when he hand fed him small morsels of bread. With Jon’s hard chest pressed against his back, he felt Jon quietly speak, pleading for him to tell him what he did wrong so he would not do it again. Closing his eyes tightly, he willed himself to not stiffen and pretended to be deep in sleep. He could not help but shudder when Jon’s hot breath and whiskers were on his neck. Jon knew he was awake and proceeded to gently kiss his neck, telling him that he would be his home, that he (and Gilly and the babe too) would be always be safe here with him.

Turning around, looking into Jon’s sad eyes, he knew that this was madness and nowhere was truly safe, but his hunger knew no bounds. He would pluck the apple from the tree and be forever damned.


End file.
